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| Tory with her and Chris' puppy Chloe |
My bloggie friends...
I found out yesterday that
Tory is reading
the comments
here on my blog.
So I'm dedicating this post
to comments
just for her!
If you would like to give her some words of encouragement
or share something of your own...
please do so!
Thank you so much!
Dearest Tory...I'm going to give you a piece of advice. Many people your age, have not dealt with a loss of this magnitude and they will not understand that the grief process takes a long, long time. They may want you to be "over it" long before you are ready and I fear you will feel bad for not being over it a year or two from now. My advice...Take all the time you need. You mom will help you if you get stuck in it, so trust her to tell you if you need to get help during this process.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard...Its hurts like no other pain you have felt (as you know) but, Tory...You will get through this. And you will never forget Chris and your love for him.
I am deeply sorry for your loss, dear one....
Dear Tory,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is full of sympathy for you. I wish I had eloquent words of wisdom to share. I just wish you blessings from our Lord to cover you and carry you as you take one day at a time in this most tragic place that you are in. May His peace hold you and keep you so that you can bear the pain. Sending you cyber hugs.
Connie H
Sweet Tory, Though I am 61 now and it was over 43 years ago, I will never forget being called to my best friends side when she learned that her fiance, who was also my hubby's best friend, at the tender age of 19, had lost his life in Vietnam. All I could do as I sat by her side on her bed was hold her and rock her. I remember the pain in my friends eyes and know that if I looked into yours, I would see the same sorrow. Just as back then, I have no words of wisdom, that can begin to soothe your wounded heart, nor fill the void there inside that I'm certain you feel. I can't sit by your side Tory and wrap my arms around you, but please know I have prayed, and will continue to keep you in my heart and prayers for our sweet and loving Lord to wrap you in his wonderful blanket of comfort and peace. He is our true comfort and I pray you will lean on Him as you grieve for your Lost Hero, just as my dear friend, husband and I myself did 43 years ago. May God Bless and Keep...
ReplyDeleteDear Tory,
ReplyDeleteWords cannot express our sympathy at your loss.Even though we are strangers our heart aches for you. We live an hour from Dundee and so Chris was one of our own. Please know we will never forget the sacrifice that he made for us and everyone in the nation. Prayers to you and your entire family.
Dear Tory
ReplyDeleteWe may not know each other personally but through your Mum's blog I feel I do know something of you. The tragedy that you have suffered is unimaginable but know that there are people all over the world who are holding you in their thoughts and prayers. I know that may seem trite but it is true! I'm in the UK and you and your family are firmly in my heart right now. Sending you much love and virtual hugs. Reene x
Take your time in healing we will never forget him. He has given this country freedom for all of us.
ReplyDeleteDear Sweet Tory, I'm so sorry you had to go through this loss. Nothing can prepare you for this at any age. I hope the days can eventually get easier to get through as you can reach towards the goals you had set for your life. Your mom will be by your side ready for you when you reach for her. So many are praying for you and comfort to find you. Hugs..
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss and am praying for you.
ReplyDeleteDear Tory,
ReplyDeleteThough many of us have suffered loss, no one can know exactly what you are going through because no one has had the special loving relationship that you had with Chris. Please know that you have been prayed for and loved by a lot of people who have never even met you. I agree wholeheartedly with Amy; take all the time that you need. And know that even then, you will always know Chris in your heart and that you will never forget him or the love that the two of you shared. I don't pray for you to get "over it"; I pray for your heart to have peace and healing.
God bless you and your family. Melinda
My heart song sends you strength as you find your way - both you and Chris have sacrificed -he his life for our country and you the future you had planned with him. I know that time will heal the pain and happiness will return, and you will travel this journey and find your path and create another future. Do not be in a hurry - how much you grieve now will create the strength you need to go on. The depth of your pain is the true measure of your love. Sending you warm hugs - Judy C
ReplyDeleteDearest Tory, my story is unlike many you will read today, your mumm may have shared some of it with you. I have lost so many loves and with each one I wanted to die. I didn't think anyone would care or miss me, and I would be so wrong honey child. This very day I can place my hand upon my heart and know they are all there, I can feel them, I can place my fingers upon my lips and I still feel their caress, I can sit quietly and still here them whisper in my ear... I thought my life was over and there would never ever be another love, I was wrong again. God saw to it actually that a man would come in and love me for all the loves I had lost. I am here today many decades later and I have children and grandchildren and I have new loves. And I am glad I woke up each day and embraced the happiness in my life that was still yet to come and not live in deep sorrow that was my yesterday. I will tell you my eyes still well with tears when I think of all those I have buried, that sadness never goes away. However now I do realize that time has been my greatest healer....my new normal has brought me many new memories, I do laugh again, I still cry but what truly has been my greatest gift is my heart grew....Don't let this define you Tory, your Chris will always be there in your heart always....I know... Madame Samm xx
ReplyDeleteDear Tory -
ReplyDeleteAs the mother-in-law of a former Black Hawk pilot who has come home safely from three deployments, I feel guilty offering you sympathy. As someone whose child could easily be living the pain you are now enduring, I hope you know my condolences and thanks for the service both you and Chris have given our country are sincere. My son-in law had the privilege of flying an Honor Mission during one of his deployments, and he described it as the most meaningful thing he'd done in his life.
My daughter dated the same young man (not her husband) from shortly before starting high school until half way through college. During that time he was diagnosed twice with cancer. Through all his hospitalizations and treatments she was his constant companion, medical advocate, tutor (he said the best thing about getting well was not have her on him about schoolwork!), and link to the outside world. While the relationship didn't last, I believe the strength and compassion she gained from these experiences helped her to endure the challenges of being an Army spouse.
One of the many hardships she faced with her husband deployed and her family far away was the death of her neighbor and good friend from leukemia. Having "done" cancer before, she was able to make the last weeks of her friend's life a little more comfortable and meaningful by turning her hospital room into a craft room and helping her create scrapbooks and mementos for her two young children. She continued to be a good friend to the family for as long as they lived next door.
While you will never get over this tragedy, I am praying that from it you will gain a level of strength and compassion that you might not otherwise have. I am confident you will use those qualities to help and comfort others in the future.
Cindy in NC
Hi Tory, I am a new follower of your Mum's blog, after reading about your tragic loss on another friend's blog.
ReplyDeleteWords can't express how sad I feel for you. Chris would want you to be strong, he lives on in your heart and the hearts of all who knew and loved him. I am sending you special thoughts and a hug from Australia. May God Bless and Comfort you.
Tory, I don't even know the two of you, but I have cried a river of tears with the posts your wonderful mom writes. There are no words that can heal, but know that our hearts are with you and Chris's family. God love the young men and women who put their lives on the line daily. They are who make us such a strong and wonderful nation. Chris is at home and safe now, you can take comfort in that. May you live you life to the fullest in his honor!
ReplyDeleteTory I don't really know what to say to you, I can't say I know how you feel because I don't, nobody can unless they have gone through what you have gone through. I have lost loved ones, and it yes it hurts, but it's not the same. When I read what had happened I was in tears too, from the other side of the world I felt your pain, I still do. Sending you a (((Hug))) Linda in France xxx
ReplyDeleteTory, it is so hard to type this to you. You certainly are a very beautiful young woman. It is so hard to lose someone you truly love, no amount of money, fame, or anyone can take the place of Chris....that is for right now....for a long while. One day and who knows when that one day will be....but I promise you one day you will be able to think back on the memories you had with Chris and smile. Our Father in Heaven is very aware of you and your suffering, he is probably crying with you. He loves you so much and your family loves you as well. Take care of yourself and just know that there are a ton of us out here praying real hard for you to have the strength you need to get through these coming days, months.....
ReplyDeleteDear Tory,
ReplyDeleteThese are hard days. You will never forget Chris. He is in your heart always. I have not walked in your shoes, but I think Chris would want you to go on with your life. It will take time to heal your wound, just as if you had surgery. But there will always be the place in your heart where Chris resides. Your sweet family loves you and with their help and God's guidance, take the next step. May the Lord comfort you and bring peace to your heart.
Dear Tory,
ReplyDeleteWords will not take the pain of losing Chris but I hope they can help soothe you. It is hard right now to even imagine that your Chris is not here on this earth with you but he will always be in your heart. Take each day and let yourself think of him, love him, and miss him. Let other people take care of you and if you need space please take it for yourself. Remember the smiles of your love and keep them close to your heart.
Dear Tory,
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you even though I don't know you personally. As a mother of 3 grown children and 5 Grandchildren, my heart has known love and pain but I've never experienced the kind of pain you're going through at such an early age. You have an army of people who don't know you but know your story praying for you! I don't know why this happened but I do know God is Big enough for your questions and even your anger. He will walk with you through this storm...for that I can be sure of. Take care of yourself. talk about Chris often, and take time to grieve however YOU need to grieve. Don't let others although well meaning put rules or a time table on your grief.
Blessings
Gmama Jane
Tory, so so sorry for your loss. I could never imagine. I can't say I know how you feel. I can just say, I'm thinking about you. I wish the best for you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you had to experience this devastating loss. Donna S.
ReplyDeleteDarling and beautiful Tory - my heart just breaks for you, and for Chris's family. I know these are hard days to get through, and you are all in my prayers. May God hold you close through your grieving, dear girl, and keep you in perfect peace through the pain.
ReplyDeleteTory,
ReplyDeleteI know you are grieving, this is so hard and so sad. It's hard to know why, but God knows what is best. Just lean on Him,and He understands that you may need to ask "why' for awhile.
Dear Tory, I can't begin to imagine your loss. I have no advice. Just want you to know you are being thought of so very much. Sending you best wishes and hugs.
ReplyDeleteRhianon from Scotland.
Hi Tory, I so wish I could wrap my arms around you and cry some with you... just some words from a stranger who understands the pain, remember Darl that Chris is not gone, he lives in your heart and memories and though time will fade some, there's still that special place you can visit him whenever you want. Its amazing what your mind will allow you to remember, the smells, the sounds. I too lost my hubby when I was really young too and even though I am happily remarried now, My wonderful hubby now does know that my 'Chris' had a special place in my heart and that the love never wained it just got cut short....time does heal and happiness does come, but take your time to sit and allow those nice wonderful memories settle in that place for you to think about whenever you want.... May God be a comfort to you and you are able to rely on Him for strength.
ReplyDeleteHugs Dawn x x
Dear Tory
ReplyDeleteLet the sun shine on your face,
the rain wash your tears
the sea swallow your grief
the waves sing to your heart
and the trees protect your soul,
love and prayers
Renata
Dear Tory
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your tragic loss. I add my thoughts and prayers, from England, to the many others that are being said for you. May God shelter you with His love and comfort you through your friends and loving family. Though your heart is breaking now, may you draw strength from the deep love you shared with your darling Chris. Be assured that this love will live on treasured, always in your heart. With much love to you and you family. Yvonne xxx
I don't have any advice for you, but I have been praying that God will comfort you as ony he can and that you will heal and find peace again.
ReplyDeleteSweet Tory,
ReplyDeletePlease know we are thinking about you and in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless!
Hugs,
Donna
*I have posted this on my blog and will be sending quilt blocks.
Dear Tory, I am so sorry for all that you and your family are going through at this time. I pray that our Heavenly Father will give you the strength to endure and that he will bring you peace.
ReplyDeleteI have no advice, I have no magic wands, I have no experience but, my dear one, I do have a loving and caring Lord that I can cry out to on your behalf. He is merciful and loving and I know He will wrap His arms around you and aid you through a very difficult time. You are in my prayers and I know my Lord is faithful. Lean on Him - He is the One that can really help you through - if you allow Him!!
ReplyDeleteI can't say that I understand, because I don't and I won't pretend that I do. Just know that I am one of many who never had the priviledge of knowing you or Chris in person but am praying for you and your family all the same. Because in times of hurt that's really all that we can do. Take comfort in Him and the love of the friends and family that surround you.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine what you are going through. I have been praying for you and the families. I saw a soldier on the news telling that he was not the hero but his wife was. He said when people stop and thank him and he is with her, he would like people to thank her for her sacrifice. So even though you weren't married yet, I just want to thank you for your sacrifice. Please know that we are praying here in Ga. for you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, Tory. My heart breaks for you. I know how you must miss your hero. I lost my husband two years ago. God bless you and your families.
ReplyDeleteDear Tory, first of all, I would like to commend you on making so many very proud in the way you have shown so much strength at the lowest time in your life. Chris is so very proud of you too honey..I know this in my heart. I lost an 8 year old son, and even thought it has now been nearly 18 years since his death, I still cry for him daily, but also smile my biggest smiles when I think of how very proud I am to say I am his mother. You cry sweetie, and smile when you think of Chris, and how proud you can be to say he was your man. Life is so very unfair sometimes, but God has a plan for you Tory, as well as a plan for Chris. He is in heaven resting peacefully. Godspeed. Christel
ReplyDeleteTory - I read about Chris in the Finger Lakes Times before I found your Mom's blog. Being from that area (Geneva), it hit me hard that someone from "home" was coming home that way. I actually made a post in his guestbook that he was my hero. It was especially hard to read that he was not going to have his wedding. To find your Mother's blog shortly after was a shock to see the relationship. You have had many words of wisdom and comfort in the prior posts and they all say so eloquently what I can't express myself. I just have to say be proud of who he was and thankful that you had him in your life, even though the time was short. My heart is with you, your family, and his family.
ReplyDeleteTory, my heart goes out to you and all those who were close to Chris. You have been in my prayers for God to comfort you. I lost my mom this year and I want you to know that along with the grief you may also feel great anger. You may not even know who or what you are angry about, but the best advice I can give to you in dealing with that is to tell it all to God. He understands. I have screamed my anger out to Him, but His Sweet Words keep running in my head that He knows what's best for us because He loves us. He knows what is in our future and has everything in control. My brother lost his son who had just turned 18 and his advice to me when we lost our mom was: Grief is an emotion that has to be dealt with. Better to deal with it now than to suppress it because you will have to deal with that emotion at some point.
ReplyDeleteYou all remain in my prayers, Tory.
dear tory, i am so sorry for all you have been going through. it does take a long time to grieve but you will make it through. chris was a brave guy and i will never forget his sacrifice. i posted a link to your mom's blog on my blog today. i feel so bad for you! joyce
ReplyDeleteDear Tory,
ReplyDeleteWe do not know each other, but I know your parents through quilt shows. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I can't imagine the extent of your grief but I am amazed at your strength. My family appreciates the work Chris was doing for our country and we grieve right along with you now he is away from us. Tory, I know you can get through this, you have an amazing family and there are so many people behind you that you don't even know. Reach out for help when you need it and someone will be there. Love Anne
Hey Tory , We do not know eachother but once i heard what happend my heart broke for you , i have no idea what you are going thru but you seem like a very strong woman ! im so sorry that this has happend to you!
ReplyDeleteHi Tory, I want to send you a big hug all the way from Australia, so (((((((HUG))))))) Stay smiling as I'm sure Chris will be watching over you now. I was so sorry to read about the loss of your beloved husband.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Naomi