A 'baby' that almost didn't happen...

How can one not wrap up a year like this...

even though it's been hard...

with gratefulness...

when one has been blessed

with little ones like this in our lives?

This is my youngest grandson.

This is the one I fought for...

hard...

on my knees...

day in and day out.

And cried...

and begged the Lord...

and cried some more...

asking Him to help my daughter make the

right decision.

This is how it all went down...

I was at home with my daughter in law...

in my sewing room...

working away on the 'house' quilt...

when I got a frantic call from my daughter 

telling me I had to immediately come to the shoppe.

And I said,

"Yeah...right Ash! I know you don't want to work...

what is it now?"

"Mom I have to go to the doctor!"

"Are you dying" said I.

"Mom...believe me...will you just come down here?"

So I get in the car...

head down there...

wondering what could be soooooo

important.

My other daughter Brooke is sitting on the brick porch...

smoking....

Enraged I say...

"Brooke...put that cigarette out!"

Ashley says...

"Mom I'm pregnant!"

Followed by,

"Mom I am not ready to have a kid. I'm just a kid 

myself."

The Mom...

"Well, you thought you were old enough

to play grown up games...

so you are old enough to deal with the

consequences."

For days...

we went round and round.

At the bookstore,

I got a book out on pregnancy

and showed her that

IT is a BABY!

Already.

Long story short....

she and her boyfriend got married....

and the little darling "Heston" made it here.

I have never seen two people so in love

as these two.

They both are just nuts over this little one.

And oh how 'little one' has blessed our lives.

So this brings me to New Year's Eve.

Choices.

We all have choices.

We all have consequences from choices.

2010 has been one of the hardest of my life.

So I am really thankful for the little blessings 

along the way.

In January,

I made the difficult decision...

to get off all the pain med's

my doctors had me on.

They had me on what cancer patients who are dying

in Hospice were on.

No kidding!

100mg Fentanly Patches

and 8 percocet a day.

I walked into my doc's office,

and told him,

"I want you to decrease my medicine

every month until I am off it all.

Do you think I can do it?"

The doc...

"I've never had this request before,

but yes I think you can."

My friends....

it took me 6 long months...

of pure hell!

Raising 4 kids on my own 

for 7 years was like Disneyland 

compared to that!

But joy be...

I did it.

And only with the help of the Lord.

Because let me tell you...

a lot of prayers were uttered!

If any of you out there are in this same

situation.

I implore you to study what narcotics do to you...

how they leave you with a broken brain...

literally.

They CREATE pain...believe it or not! 

And then have the courage whatever it takes

to eliminate them from your life!

Now... the the way I see it..

2011 has got to be a better year!

I am back to the old me.

Yes, I still have 2 torn discs in my back...

and yes I am bone on bone at another

place in my back....

but I am 'Me' with all my pain,

and imperfections.

Just struggling through.

Trying to see the blessing in each and

every moment God gives me.

My hope is to have a 

'God' filled year...

a 'giving' year...

and a 'blessing to others' year.

Happy New Year to all of you!

My heart...

  John'aLee

Had the Surgery....

My sweet daughter Ashley is taking care of me!

So my friends...

Friday night after this last post....

I was feeling pretty rotten...

so I told the hubby...

to take me to the ER here in St George.

Well...

my blood pressure was 211/112

and guess what???

They did the surgery.

I am now at my daughter's recuperating.
Her and that sweet son in law of mine...
are sleeping on an air mattress
out in the living room...
so I can have their king size bed.
When I get home I will have to show you all
the sweet note this new son of mine
wrote to me while I was in the hospital.
On the front of it...
it said...
"Brownie Points"


Well...he has scored some of those....
that's for sure!


Saturday was one of the worst days of my life.
Sometimes you wonder how much 'one' 
should really share on a blog.
But I will just say this....
My parents who live in Colorado...
drove through and didn't even stop to see me.
Nor did they call.
 I still tear up to think about it.
I've worked hard at this relationship for over
5  years booking shows near them, 
so we could go and see them,
 sometimes even driving hundreds of miles
out of the way so I could spend time with them.

I thought things were better.
I guess they are...
as long as I am the one making the effort.


To say the least it broke this little girl's heart in two.


I can't imagine one of my kids being sick
and not being there for them.


So by day's end on Saturday...
I decided to let it go...
and to count the blessings...
of all my kids, their spouses,
my sweet grandkids
my wonderful husband
and true and tried prayer
warrior friend Nancy for
being there for me.

I do need prayers though.
I do not want to be bitter.
I just want acceptance.
I can't change people...
and make them feel something 
they don't.
I can only be grateful for all of the
wonderful people
God has put in my life to
love and care for me.

The Guitar Man left for home today...

but not before getting me a ticket

on a plane out of here Saturday.

My sweet friend Nancy and her hubby 

drove up from Vegas to see me

the first night I got out.

What would we do without faithful friends?
She brought me some 'vanilla' 
from her trip to Mexico.
Ooh Laa Laa...
its been so long
since I've been able to bake
with Mexican Vanilla.
It's the best, gals!!!

So now  I'm a restin' my body and soul....
gently .....
in His care...

recovering...

Until Later...

Me

A Very Unpleasant 36 hours in the Hospital

Just a quick little post....

Ken and I are driving, driving, driving...

across the USA....

when just outside of Gallup, New Mexico...

I came down with horrific pain.

I had Ken pull over more than once....

so I could stand outside by the road

hoping it would subside....

It just got worse...

so we pulled into The Hampton Inn...

where I ran a hot tub of water...

but after 2 hours of crying horrifically...

I told him he had to take me to the ER.

I was shaking and crying, moaning...

what a mess I was.

It was a severe gallbladder attack.

After tons of morphene, antibiotics...

dyes, for CT scans...

and fluids being pumped into me...

I finally talked the doc out of surgery.

It just didn't seem possible so far from home.

Because their XRay machines were all down...

they let me go.

But he told me...

"When you see a doc about this,

they are going to ask why in the world didn't these people

take out your gallbladder then and there."

Boy 

life sure does get interesting sometimes...

I'm 

tired 

of 

"interesting"

Happy Turkey day to all!

We are Moving!! Nashville Tenneessee...here we come!

What a weekend!

Many, many years ago I had 'a' garage sale...

and swore I'd never have one again!

But seeing we have decided to pull up stakes

and move back East....

the 'Guitar Man'

promised me 'new' whatever I wanted...

if I wouldn't make him haul all of 'this' stuff 'here'

across the country.

Can you believe...I made $7,700!?

I'm still in shock!

My dad has always said that I could sell ice to eskimos.

(I guess it comes from being a single mom for so many years,

raising 4 kids on my own...

and to feed them...

I had to go and knock on the 

'society of the elite's' doors 

to convince them they needed my design services even though I didn't know what I was doing!

I was a stay at home mom 

with no college education...

but I did know how to sew curtains!

 A momma bear will do anything to

care for her little ones!

So on Saturday....

people were running in and out of my house...

pulling pictures off the walls...

begging me to sell.

It was crazy...

the more I said 'No!"

The more determined they were to change my mind.

They wanted my antiques...

They wanted quilts, sheets, pillows,

lamps, gadgets and on and on.

Finally....

I named my price...

and they gave it to me. 

The hardest thing for me to sell...

was my first ever purchased antique...

a ladies secretary

and

the buffet and table and chairs 

I bought that the kids grew up around.

But as the 'Guitar Man' says....

everything has a price!

Girls....the surprising thing....

it's kind of been therapeutic...

to get rid of sooooo much stuff!!

Boxes of fabric scraps...

that I was going to 'someday' make a quilt from...

(don't worry...I still have my stash!!),

yards and yards of designer upholstery fabric

I was going to 'someday'

recover my antique couch and chairs with...

etc...etc...

Now think of all the work I've saved myself! 

Awww...just thinking of a simpler...

clutter free....

life....

makes me smile!